I was to meet my wife at the mall at 7.30pm. But you know how it is (especially if you’ve watched the show): episode 2, season 3 of The Family Man was particularly gripping, and it was 7.45 when I reached.
She was looking at her watch, not smiling.
“Thank you for coming early,” I said. “I didn’t come early,” she said coldly. “You came late.”
“In that case,” I said enthusiastically, “thank you for waiting.” “At least say you’re sorry!” she snapped.
“I can’t!” I said. “Apologising is no longer in trend. No one says, ‘I’m sorry’ any more. It’s similar to carrying a selfie stick – just not cool. And saying, ‘I was wrong’? God forbid!”
The trend has been around for a while now and perhaps in recent times the heads of some countries have accelerated its adoption, making it hotter than the bell-bottom revival, I believe. But my wife was not up to speed. She needed education, rapidly. So I sat her down on a bench in the mall and narrated how I had learned about the trend.
Recently, I told her, I was waiting at a hotel for the concierge, who was attending to a guest asking the way to somewhere. Either the route was complicated or the guest geographically challenged, because it took time. Finally, the concierge turned to me.
“Thank you for waiting, Sir,” he said. “I would like…”
He raised a polite hand – his phone was ringing. He answered it, unhesitatingly prioritising a guest calling from the comfort of their room over one standing in flesh and blood before him. He painstakingly helped the guest make a booking at a restaurant after recommending three that were not quite suitable. My fingers were getting sore drumming on the counter.
Finally he looked up. “Thank you for waiting, Sir.” This was not the first time (technically second because he’d just said it two minutes earlier) I’d heard those exact words instead of “I’m sorry to keep you waiting.”
Flight attendants and pilots on every flight I’ve taken in recent years – and I’ve taken a few – had used the exact words.
The flight is delayed, says the captain. “Thank you for waiting.” The attendant smiles as they hand me my meal from their trolley. “Thank you for waiting.”
At first I was confused. I did not remember being given a choice – [A] Take the flight tomorrow: we’ll give you a free night at a hotel and upgrade you to business class for free. [B] Wait. – and choosing B.
But by the fifth time I heard it, I was used to it and began taking the airline’s gratitude in my stride without wincing.
Then, on a recent flight on a prominent Indian airline, we were delayed by more than an hour after being seated. The captain’s voice came on the intercom. He would explain what went wrong and surely this time, he would apologise, I thought.
I was wrong. He did the explanation all right. “Flights to Delhi had been delayed till now because of dust storms at Delhi airport. And now, a runway closure in Chennai will set us back by another 20 minutes.”
He instructed us to understand that these delays due to the weather and airport logistics had nothing to do with his airline, and certainly absolutely nothing to do with him.
I had to wait too, I could almost hear him thinking.
I explained all this to my wife at the mall.
“A few years ago, I’d have been irritated, angry even, with the pilot,” I said to my wife, “like you are now.
But now I knew he was merely being trendy. Of course, what did irritate me and the other passengers was learning that even his explanation was wrong – other flights had been taking off from Chennai, even as he was speaking.”
“Look at that sign,” I said, pointing. “A few years ago it might have said, ‘Sorry – no smoking here’ or less politely, ‘No smoking’. What does it say now?”
“Thank you for not smoking,” she said, reading it out. “Wow! I guess you’re right. Sorry for snapping at you earlier.”
“No, no!” I wagged a finger at her. “You’re still not getting it. Try again.”
She looked puzzled for a moment. Then realisation dawned, and her face lit up. “Thank you for explaining why you were not wrong,” she said. I beamed.
“This time,” she added. “You’ll be wrong on something else soon, I’m sure.”
Paddy Rangappa (https://www.linkedin.com/in/paddyrangappa/), an ex-CEO, now teaches humour for leaders; happiness at work; and marketing through consumer insights
